


Not said to me

by Persiflage



Series: The Ways You Said 'I Love You' [7]
Category: Holby City
Genre: 5 Times, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Drinking & Talking, Elinor Campbell Lives, F/F, Female Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Massage, Prompt Fic, Surgery, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage
Summary: Five Times Serena Campbell overhears Bernie Wolfe telling someone she loves her.
Relationships: Cameron Dunn & Bernie Wolfe, Serena Campbell & Elinor Campbell, Serena Campbell & Fleur Fanshawe, Serena Campbell & Henrik Hanssen, Serena Campbell & Ric Griffin, Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Series: The Ways You Said 'I Love You' [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750207
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	Not said to me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fortytworedvines](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortytworedvines/gifts).



> Canon compliant up to the point of Christmas with the Campbell-Wolfe-Haynes-Dunn families, then canon divergent, because canon-schmanon! Written for _The Ways You Said ‘I Love You’_ list of prompts. I don't often get to write a 'Five Things' fic, so it was nice to do so for these two.

**Hanssen**

“What can I do for you, Mr Hanssen?” Bernie doesn’t look up from the tablet she’s frowning over as she stands at the nurse’s station, which is currently empty apart from herself.

“Nothing in particular, Ms Wolfe. I just wanted to see how you’re settling back in.”

“Fine, thank you.” Bernie smiles at the tablet as she manages to figure out why what she was looking at looked wrong.

“And you and Ms Campbell–”

Bernie cuts him off. “Our relationship will not impinge on the smooth running of AAU again, Mr Hanssen. You have my word on that. I love Serena and I wouldn’t dream of doing anything to hurt her ever again.”

“Quite,” Hanssen says in a dry tone, and Bernie feels heat in her cheeks as she realises she has no idea if that was what he was going to ask her – she’d just responded automatically since far too many people have been asking such questions in the few days since her return from Kiev. And she knows it’s her own fault for making a spectacle out of her departure and for making Serena the laughingstock of not just their ward but the whole hospital. Decades of self-repression have left her feeling vulnerable when it comes to any frank discussion of her relationship preferences – and the fact she got outed to an entire ward thanks to her own lack of expertise with her smart phone still embarrasses her.

“If you’ll excuse me, Mr Hanssen, Ms Raymond in Bay 5 needs my attention.”

“Of course,” Hanssen says with a brief nod of acknowledgement. 

Bernie turns and strides away, glad to escape the man’s far too knowing scrutiny. She pulls the curtains around the bed in Bay 5 and doesn’t see Serena Campbell appear from around the pillar she’d been not quite hiding behind after she caught Bernie’s assurance to Hanssen about the smooth running of AAU.

“Ms Campbell.” Hanssen acknowledges her with a brief smile that barely touches his mouth, but it’s there if you know what to look for. 

“Henrik. Anything I can help you with?”

“Not at this time. I just wanted to check in with Ms Wolfe – make sure she’s settling back in after her sojourn in Kiev.”

“She’s fine,” Serena says, and can’t help glancing across at the curtains around Bay 5. “She’s more than fine.”

When she brings her attention back to Hanssen he’s smiling properly now, and Serena flushes as she realises how her comments could be interpreted. 

“I’m glad to hear it,” he says, then adds softly, “You deserve to be happy, Serena. I hope Ms Wolfe makes you very happy.”

“I hope we can make each other happy,” Serena says, thinking that Bernie deserves to be happy just as much as she does.

“I’m sure that you will, with the usual amount of effort that’s required in any relationship.”

Serena raises her eyebrows at him, and he gives her one of his more enigmatic smiles, nods, then walks away. She shakes her head, then focuses her attention on her work.

**Elinor**

“Look, Elinor, it’s no skin off my nose if you don’t come to your mother’s for Christmas, but it will definitely upset Serena. So, is it worth spiting me, as you see it, in order to make your mum’s Christmas worse?”

Serena doesn’t mean to eavesdrop on the conversation that Bernie’s having with her daughter – she’d gone to the kitchen to make them all some coffee after Ellie had turned up, unannounced, just as she and Bernie had finished dinner. She’s on her way back to the sitting room to ask if either of them wants some of the apple pie she’d picked up from the baker’s on the way home from work, and had been arrested by the conversation between her wayward daughter and her partner.

“Stop pretending you care,” Ellie says in a scornful tone.

Bernie snorts. “Stop pretending you don’t,” she says. “I love your mother just as much as you do, Elinor.”

“Yeah? Then why’d you run away to bloody Kiev for two months? Did you think that wouldn’t make her miserable?”

Serena winces, wishing she’d never mentioned that to Elinor. Bernie had been gone ten days when Ellie had arrived – again unannounced – and found Serena trying to drown her sorrows in Shiraz, and Serena hadn’t been sufficiently sober enough to guard her tongue.

“Have you never been so scared of messing something up that you’ve run away from it instead?” Bernie asks quietly. “Never been so scared of getting hurt that you’ve avoided doing something even though you know it’ll be a good thing? Because that’s what I did. I panicked and I fled. I’m not proud of it, and if she’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to Serena. I love your mother very much, and she is by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I cannot promise I won’t mess up again – I’m only human, after all – but if I do mess up again, I will sit down with your mother and we’ll talk about it in an adult fashion.”

Serena has to make her way back to the kitchen to have a private little cry at Bernie’s declaration, so she makes the coffee while she’s there. 

She’s just finishing up when Ellie comes into the kitchen. “I’ve decided I’ll come to yours for Christmas Day,” she says with an air of conferring a great benefit on her mother.

“Thank you, darling. Are you going to come over on the day itself, or would you prefer to spend the night before?”

Ellie shrugs. “I’ll let you know.”

“Very well.”

“I dunno what you see in that woman, but if she makes you happy–” She shrugs again.

“She does,” Serena says very firmly.

“Right. Whatever. Is that coffee ready?”

“Nearly. Would you like some apple pie and ice cream?”

“Nah. I can’t stay long.” 

Serena barely holds off on a sigh, particularly since Ellie’s eyes have been glued to her phone screen throughout. “Would you mind going to ask Bernie if she wants apple pie and ice cream?”

“I’d love some, please,” Bernie says from the doorway, and Serena clutches at her chest, badly startled.

“What have I told you about wearing louder shoes?” she asks testily.

Bernie chuckles, then abandons her spot leaning against the doorframe, and crosses the kitchen to bestow a light kiss on Serena’s mouth.

“Ugh! Get a room,” Ellie protests.

“We fully intend to, thank you, Elinor.”

“I’ve changed my mind about the coffee. I’ll see you at Christmas.”

Ellie disappears in a matter of moments, and when Serena looks at her lover, Bernie is looking rather stricken. 

“I’m truly sorry, Serena. I didn’t mean to drive her away.”

Serena wraps her arms around her. “It doesn’t matter, love. You talked her into coming over for Christmas Day and that is a truly priceless gift.”

“I talked her – you were listening?”

“I accidentally eavesdropped on your conversation. I was coming to ask about the apple pie, and overheard you talking. Do you really think I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t have said so, otherwise.”

“Thank you.” 

“C’mere you,” Bernie says gruffly, and tugs Serena’s arms, which she’d unconsciously wrapped around herself, loose before drawing her into her embrace. “I love you so very much, Serena Wendy Campbell, and being with you is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I’m sorry I fucked things up before, but–”

Serena cuts her off with a kiss. “No more recriminations about that,” she says firmly once she releases Bernie’s mouth. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

**Fleur**

“Well, well, if it isn’t Campbell and the Werewolf.” 

Bernie and Serena look up from their drinks as Fleur Fanshawe arrives at their table in Albie’s. 

“Ms Fanshawe.” Bernie’s greeting is cool. She knows that Serena and Fleur go back a long way, and that Fleur flirts even harder than Serena, but she always remains wary of Fleur’s intentions towards her partner.

Fleur’s eyebrows raise as she sits on the other side of Serena. “Mighty formal of you, Major.”

“And ‘Major’ isn’t?” Bernie asks pointedly. “You know I dislike that nickname.”

“Which is why I like to use it,” Fleur admits.

Bernie snorts. “As if I didn’t know that already. Just remember that I used to be in the Army, and I know thirteen ways to kill you with my bare hands.”

Serena raises an eyebrow at her. “Only thirteen?”

Bernie shrugs. “It might be more, but I can think of thirteen just off the top of my head.”

“I never took you as the type to enjoy violence,” Fleur says in a complaining tone to Serena, who smirks in Bernie’s direction. 

“Depends on who it is who’s committing the violence, and to whom,” she says in that conspiratorial tone that Bernie loves.

“God, you two are sickening!” Fleur’s complaint sounds only half-hearted, however.

Serena gets to her feet and says, “Excuse me, ladies.” She starts squeezing past Bernie who can’t resist standing up and allowing their bodies to press against each other before she steps sideways to allow Serena to pass.

Serena stops off at the bar on the way back from the ladies and when she turns around to see if Fleur wants a refill she notes that her friend has moved into her seat and she’s talking intently to Bernie. Serena grabs refills for everyone feeling concerned that the two of them might get into a row, then carries their drinks over to their table. 

As she gets closer to the pair she realises they haven’t noticed her approach and she can’t help eavesdropping; she’s curious to know what they’re talking about so intently.

“Just remember, if you ever make Serena miserable again by buggering off to some foreign field then I’ll call in every favour I can to make your life miserable.”

Bernie snorts. “Really? That’s the best threat you can come up with? Forget it, Fanshawe. Nothing you did to me could possibly make me more miserable than I made myself when I went to Kiev. I love Serena. I think I fell in love with her the very first time I saw her, shouting at a mechanic over that clapped out car of hers. And I won’t do anything to hurt her again. I couldn’t.”

“You’d better not.” 

Serena’s surprised by the menacing tone her friend’s adopted, but she notices that Bernie doesn’t respond to it. She smiles to herself: that’s her big macho army medic. 

The two women start to sit back in their seats, so Serena begins moving again, and a moment later Bernie stands up, moves around the table and takes her own and Fleur’s drinks from her and puts them on the table, then she guides Serena back to her seat, her hand at the small of Serena’s back.

She feels touched by Fleur’s attitude, but she is also a little amused – she knows that Bernie’s not going to run away again, not unless she’s runs away with Serena.

**Ric**

“You know, I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Hmm?” Bernie takes a few moments to look up at Ric Griffin from where she’s finishing up tightening a pin to help to hold their patient’s shattered femur in place. She’s been working at this jigsaw for an hour already and her back’s beginning to protest a little as this is the third such trauma patient she’s dealt with this morning. 

“That anyone would melt ‘The Ice Queen’.” Ric doesn’t need to gesture for Bernie to hear the air quotes around the last three words.

“Can’t say I’ve ever found Ms Campbell much of an Ice Queen myself,” Bernie tells him, less than half her attention on whatever point he thinks he’s making as she selects another pin to hold the other end of this third plate she’s attached to her patient’s leg. She doesn’t bother pretending not to understand who he’s talking about – her relationship with Serena Campbell, vascular surgeon and co-lead of AAU, is the talk of the hospital as far as she can tell. Not that Bernie’s gone out of her way to keep track, but Jason relays much of the gossip he overhears in his role as porter with a total lack of relish and the characteristic bluntness that Bernie’s come to expect of Serena’s nephew.

“That’s because you didn’t know her when she first came here,” Ric tells her. “Heart cold as ice and a demeanour as sharp as daggers. Hardly anyone liked her and almost everyone feared her.”

Bernie snorts behind her mask, bending lower to peer through the loupe over her eyes. “A little more light here, please,” she murmurs, and Morven obliges. “Thanks.” She aligns the pin with the hole in the plate, then carefully screws it into place.

“What was that snort for?” Ric asks when Bernie straightens up, wincing at the sharp stab of pain in her back.

“Well, women who are ambitious and/or ruthless in pursuing their careers are always portrayed by others, especially men, as being icy, heartless, and steely – among other pejorative terms. We’re always implied to have little to no feelings and, of course, our ambitions are always deemed to make us sexless. I’ve never heard anyone make the same accusations about ambitious men. In fact, male ruthlessness is generally portrayed as sexy, especially by entertainment media – women are generally expected to throw themselves at men who pursue their careers to the disadvantage of everyone and everything else.” She gestures at Morven to pass her another plate, relieved that it’s the last one. “Nothing but misogynistic claptrap, of course.” She accepts the final plate, and nods her thanks to Morven, then bends over the patient’s leg again.

“I’m just saying–” Ric begins.

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Bernie says in what might seem a conversational tone, but she makes sure there’s a hint of steeliness in it. “I have always found Ms Campbell to be a warm, witty, and loving woman, even before we became intimate. I love her very much and I am very fortunate that she loves me.”

Bernie turns her attention back to the patient, and doesn’t see Ric’s eyes widen above his mask, or the way that both Morven and the nurse assisting them have both turned their heads to see what has caught Ric’s attention. In fact, she remains wholly unaware that her partner is standing on the other side of the observation window and has heard every word of Bernie and Ric’s conversation.

Serena had come to see if Bernie was close to finishing her third surgery of the morning, knowing that her partner’s back would be suffering from carrying out three such intricate surgeries, and wanting to get her into their office so that she could give Bernie’s back a massage before they started on the afternoon rounds. She hadn’t anticipated hearing Bernie defending her character (and she’s fully aware that when she first arrived at Holby she was every bit as ruthless and icy as Ric had described) or declaring her love for her. She raises her eyebrows at Ric, then glances at the clock on the wall, and he nods at the nurse, who comes out to tell her that he estimates the surgery will need another twenty minutes, maximum, to complete.

“Don’t bother telling Ms Wolfe I was here,” Serena tells Nurse Driscoll. “You’ve answered my query.”

The nurse smirks a bit but subsides when Serena raises an interrogative eyebrow at her, and Serena smiles to herself once she turns away, pleased to know that she can still quell her juniors if she needs to. She wonders if Ric will tell Bernie that she was there and can’t help hoping that he won’t. 

She decides to go down to Pulses to get some lunch for herself and Bernie, as well as a couple of strong, hot coffees. She’s carried out two surgeries herself this morning, which is why Ric was assisting Bernie: the two patients Serena had dealt with had vascular issues, rather than the blunt trauma of the patients on whom Bernie has been working.

She feels warmed by Bernie’s defence of her character, recognising that her partner must have had many of the same sort of accusations made about her while she was working her way through the ranks of the RAMC, and probably with a lot more lewd commentary given that she was in the army. 

She shakes her head to dispel images of Bernie possibly getting into physical fights to defend her reputation (she shouldn’t find the idea of Bernie fighting sexy – violence is never sexy). Then she takes the lift down to Pulses.

When Bernie comes into their office a short time later, Serena feels her heart thump in her chest at the sight of the weary smile the blonde bestows on her.

“Your back must be agony,” she says. “Grab a pew and let me give you a quick massage.”

“You’re an angel,” Bernie says, and Serena thinks her back must be bad if she’s not making even a token protest.

“I don’t know about that,” Serena deflects. She settles behind Bernie and works on unknotting all the muscles in her neck and back, doing her best to ignore her partner’s moans of relief.

Once she’s done, they eat their lunch and drink their coffees while discussing the patients they’ve had in surgery, and the ones awaiting them on their rounds. 

“Are you okay to do rounds?” Serena asks as they dispose of their sandwich and pastry wrappers.

Bernie gives her a soft smile. “I am, thanks to your magic hands.”

Serena blushes and Bernie gives her a raised eyebrows look which then morphs into a truly wicked grin as she registers why Serena’s blushing.

“Shush, you,” Serena says, swatting at Bernie’s shoulder as she gets to her feet to head back onto the ward.

“I didn’t say a word,” Bernie protests, but she’s grinning still, and when Serena swats at her again, she captures Serena’s hand and uses it to tug her close for a brief chaste kiss that somehow still seems to set the blood in Serena’s veins afire.

“Alright, Major, those patients won’t look after themselves.”

“True,” Bernie murmurs against her lips. “Later, though, I’m going to look after you.”

“Is that a promise?” Serena asks, her heart back to thumping again.

“It is.” She pecks Serena on the lips, then lets go of her, sliding past her and out of the door without a backward look, and Serena has to take a moment to compose herself before she can also return to the ward.

**Cam**

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy before.” 

Bernie’s son, Cameron, is visiting her and Serena before he heads off on his next rotation as part of his training, and Serena’s just returning to the living room from the kitchen when she pauses to unashamedly listen to their conversation. Although Cameron’s always been friendly towards Serena, she has still wondered just what he makes of her relationship with his mother.

“I’ll be honest, Cam. I’ve never been this happy before.”

“Not even when we were kids?”

Serena clutches at her pendant at Cam’s softly voiced question.

“I was a different kind of happy, then,” Bernie says. 

“Did you ever love Dad?”

There’s a pause and Serena’s just wondering whether she should enter the room when Bernie answers. “I did, but not in the way that I love Serena. Your father is a decent, kind, hard-working man, and I’m very grateful that he was there for you and Charlie when I wasn’t. But he was my best mate and I loved him as such. Serena’s not only my best friend, she’s my partner in every sense of the word. As my co-lead on AAU, she’s my partner in work, and she’s my life partner outside of work. I am immensely lucky to have found her, especially this late in life, and I am deeply grateful that I have. So yes, I’m happier than I’ve been before.”

“I’m glad, Mum. Honestly. I think she’s had a positive influence on you, too.”

“Oh? In what ways?”

There’s a hint of mirth in Bernie’s voice, which makes Serena smile, too, as she remains standing around the corner, leaning against the wall.

“Well, you’re way better at communicating your feelings for a start.”

“True.” Bernie chuckles. “What else?”

“You’re more tactile than you’ve ever been since I was a kid, which is really nice.”

“It’s true that Serena can’t keep her hands off me.”

“Ew, Mum! TMI!”

Cameron’s outrage is swiftly drowned out by Bernie’s glorious honking laughter, and Serena decides now’s as a good a time as any to return.

“Everything alright in here?” she asks curiously, pretending not to know why Bernie’s convulsed with laughter on the sofa while Cam is squirming in the armchair.

She casts an enquiring look at the young man, eyebrow raised, and he just shakes his head, then she turns her attention back to her partner. “Love?”

“Fine, fine,” Bernie says, still chuckling. “I just told my son that you can’t keep your hands off me and he chose to interpret that in the naughtiest manner possible.”

“How else should I interpret it?” demands Cam, half outraged, half amused now.

“Well, Berenice?” asks Serena, resuming her seat.

“Ooh she called you ‘Berenice’. Does that mean you’re in trouble?”

Bernie splutters, then tosses her cushion at him and he catches it with a loud “Oof!”, faking an injury.

“Berenice Griselda Wolfe, kindly stop throwing my soft furnishings around.” Serena smirks at Cam when she uses Bernie’s full name, and he chuckles.

“Definitely in trouble,” he observes. 

Bernie sticks her tongue out at him, and Serena swats at her arm. “What are you, five?” she asks. “Now kindly explain to your son what you meant.”

“I just meant that in all the time I’ve known you, even before we got together, you touched me a lot: a hand on my arm or my shoulder or my back.” Bernie nods at Cam and he nods back, which intrigues Serena and makes her resolve to ask for an explanation of that exchange later. “I know you’re tactile with everyone, but it was a bit of a culture shock for me. I used to get back slaps and fists pounding my shoulder – not painfully,” Bernie elaborates, “just the usual masculine camaraderie that’s typical of the Army. Of course, there was a lot less of that once I was promoted to Major.” 

She smiles at them both. “I wasn’t used to being touched so gently or kindly – that’s why it was a culture shock. And I wasn’t used to touching others like that. Normally, when I touched people it was for medical reasons – either to carry out a surgery, or to check how someone was progressing afterwards.” 

Bernie wraps her hand around Serena’s. “You made me feel brave enough to do simple things like holding your hand or giving my children a hug. Thank you.” She leans over and presses her lips against Serena’s cheek, and Serena smiles at her, feeling a lump of emotion in her throat.

“You’re welcome, love,” she says softly.

“I think that’s my cue to leave, Mum,” Cam says, sounding slightly awkward.

“You don’t have to,” Bernie says. “I promise we’re not about to have a full blown makeout session on the sofa.”

“We’re not?” Serena asks teasingly.

Cam splutters and Bernie scowls for a moment. “Behave you,” she says sternly, and Serena can’t hold back a shiver at that tone, and she sees Bernie register the shiver because her eyes widen, then go dark.

“I’ll see you out,” she tells Cam.

“Goodbye Cameron,” Serena calls as Bernie ushers her son out. “Good luck.”

“Thanks Serena.” He gives her a respectful nod from the doorway, then goes out, Bernie’s hand on his back as they go.

A few minutes later, Bernie returns, and she approaches Serena, then holds out her hand. Serena takes it and is startled when her partner tugs her up from the sofa. “I’m going to take you upstairs now and show you what I can do with my hands,” she says in a low voice, practically growling the words.

“I shall enjoy that,” Serena says with a purr. “And maybe, if you’re very good, I’ll show you what I can do with mine.”

She cries out in surprise the next moment when Bernie wraps one arm around her shoulders, bends her knees, then scoops her up from the floor and carries her out into the hall, then upstairs to their room.

“Put me down, you maniac!” Serena exclaims halfway up the stairs. 

“In a moment,” Bernie says, that stern tone back in her voice, and Serena knows that her lover is going to wreck her tonight.

It’s a truly thrilling thought.


End file.
